a y a t

if i ever push u away
i dont really mean to
when i tell u i dont want to talk about it
i do, i am just looking for the right words.

give me a minute, and if i can tell u; i will.

itry to be a struggling mix of real and
perfect at the same time.
at the moment,
i am working on the ratio.
when i get really quiet sometimes
it it because i have too much to say
i hae thought of too many things to tell u
all at once
n i dont know what to say first.
i get immaturately jealous of anyone
who gets to see u on a daily basis.

i miss u really easily.
but i also like that we can be
apart
and we are both okay.
space is good, too.
i love the way we love some of the same things.
and i love how we love entirely different things.
my head is a complicated pile of thoughts,
and fears, and cravings, and dreams,
and this tangled up nostalgia for the past
and somehow the future.

i am flawed and i am human and i am broken and
i am trying. and i am the one person and i am two hands

and i am one heart.
and i love u
and i am so glad u are here.